i guess i force it
just a little bit too much
expectations overriding creativity
when my mind jumps between my fingers screaming
“you better produce something worthwhile
or else this has been a waste of time”
somehow the joy leaks away
and the pressure squeezes me down
into a ball incapable of thought
let alone movement
so the moment passes
my, how perspectives change
when you realize you’re counting in years
and it used to be months
or even just days
nothing ever lasted this long
my shoulders bow
beneath the understanding
that i
the one still whole
might take this burden
from the infirm
carrying the weight
that others cannot
Father gives us life
provides the spirit
Mother heals our hearts
brings us wisdom
we, the Daughters
born through the forging heat
tempered by chill waters
bear their legacy
into the world
there’s a certain rightness
to sitting at this table
knowing i’m at home
with a hot cup of something
warming my hands
as my computer boots up
and i prepare
to dive into the world of words
the screams in my mind subside
and the press of millions
all uncaring and self-absorbed
lifts slowly
gasping
i break out into this
silent space
brought back to reality
by a tired voice
reaching out
to rescue me from my mind
even if you don’t know
where you’ll end up
there’s no reason
not to try
my chest constricts
every time i think about
taking that one little step forward
where the ground might shift
shoved violently
from my tentative step
leaving my heel
poised above darkness
that would take me back
without hesitation
someone hold me down
before i fill up
and float
straight through
that little blue patch
and into the sun
you amaze me | always have | always will
beautiful | confident | full of life
never compromising | always striving
those words you left | scrawled on the floor
were never for him | nor the rose | nor the love
every moment | when you said “i love you”
what you really meant
was “i love me”
